Chicaaahgo

Yes, I realize this is about 6 weeks late, but these are hard posts to write.  The words I write cannot do justice to the swirl of memories and emotions and love, but here goes...

We spent a week in Chicago for the holidays. After celebrating for weeks before we left (Luka's birthday, Luka's birthday party, Roscoe's birthday with our family and with Ray's family, Christmas with both our family and with Ray's family) we celebrated even more when we arrived (Roscoe's actual birthday, Christmas with Dad and Christmas with Mom).  And what better way to celebrate than descending on Mitchel and Heather's house and crashing there for the better part of the week?  For those counting, that makes 6 adults and 10 kids in one house. Well, 10.5 if you count the bun in Karen's oven.  We went in knowing there would be chaos and passing germs and cousin fighting, but lots of great memories and it was even better than I hoped.  I just loved having the chance to hang out with the Grown Folks and get to know better the Growing Folks.  Without this week, I may never have known the smooth moves that Connor breaks out at dance parties or that Brody gets the evilest/cutest twinkle in his eye when you tease him and he teases you back or that Winston can catch and throw a ball like most 3 year olds and Kyle and Uncle Ray-Ray have the same humor.  I wouldn't have heard Brynn's sweet voice asking Luka, "how'd you get so cute, cupcake?" or seen what a good helper/sippy cup retriever Ramon is or what a contagious smile Jayce has.  I would have missed Roscoe crying every time he left his cousins and asking where Troy was after we left.  I got to see Laura and Jesse and the girls and their beautiful new kitchen (which we are already planning to steal ideas from...).  Roscoe and Jesse had a drum off and Tessa and Hadleigh tried on all of their princess dresses for us.  Unfortunately, Traci and Tom's whole family was recovering from the stomach flu, so we didn't get to hang out with them (and then by some spiteful bad luck Roscoe ended up with the stomach flu the night before we left anyway...not fun)  Thankfully Traci and I got to sneak away for a girls lunch like we were half our age again.  This is the best trip I can remember because instead of running around the whole time we mostly stayed put and just enjoyed each other's company.  It was very hard to say goodbye.  It was great to be home, but after a couple days I found myself wishing we could pop back over to H&M's and hang out some more!  Maybe I can convince someone to move to CA (Joel can campaign for a CO commune, I will campaign for someone to move to CA and maybe, just maybe, we will all end up closer together somehow).

The trip there:

HAPPY!

not happy.

Maybe if she slept on the plane (or at night) she wouldn't be so tired...

Roscoe's birthday tree!  Thanks to Ahmoo and IL cousins for the festive decorations:

Christmas-ing:

Dance Party (imagine the lights out, loud music and glow sticks...):

Four-wheeling and tubing and trampoline and swingset fun:

Roller rink flashbacks:

Making memories:

Tessa and Hadleigh:

Let's see how many years the 10 of them can fit on the same sofa:

Poor stomach flu Roo on the way home:

Trying to entertain Lu while we wait for the perpetual airport delays:

Sweet Rocs recovering from his rough night (and week of fun):

Sick Happens

Welcome 2013!  Let's make a deal: we'll take our vitamins and you give our immune systems a break.

Our year (so far) in review:
     * Stomach virus (Rocs)
     * Sprouted two big teeth (Lu)
     * Cold (Lu)
     * Flu (Ray)
     * 104* fever with swollen eyes (Rocs)
     * 103* fever (Lu)
     * Flu with nasty cough (Rocs)
     * Flu with nasty cough (Lu)
     * Double ear infection with fluid on both ears (Rocs)
     * Four molars coming in (Lu)

Today is our first day in a week without a 103* fever or above (but it's early - maybe I should hold my optimism).  I'm crossing my fingers that this is the beginning of the end.  Here's to the next 11.5 months of health!

Starting the New Year with a Bang

Luka has taken a step or two here and there, but apparently spending a week with 9 older cousins and being the only non-walker was motivation enough - on January 1 she started walking!

I am looking forward to a year of surprises.  I am sticking with my 2012 resolution (that we didn't keep) of no new jobs, cars, houses or babies in 2013.  We've got our hands full at the moment and I want to enjoy the blessings we already have.

Today is extra special because it was one year ago that Mitchel fell.  I am so grateful that he is alive and walking and still the best little brother a girl could ask for.  It's been a rough year for him and his family, but the year ahead has something special in store for them - I just know it.

Happy 2013!

Roscoe Anthony

What words are there for Roscoe??  He has been packed with personality since day one.  Big personality.  Big humor. Big kisses and cuddles and high-fives.  Big demands.  Big emotions.  Big smiles.  Big messes.  Big adventures.  His presence is so larger than life that when I see a picture of him, I feel like he is actually there. He just can't be contained in 2D.

He is teaching me so many things.

Roscoe made me a mama and he continues to blaze the trail with eternal enthusiasm and passion and humor.  Being a parent is full of surprises and new insights into ourselves.  I have loved people in my life, but I have never loved like this. A mother's love really is indescribable.  I think I (finally) understand a smidge of what God must feel for us as His children.  I finally get how He can love me when I feel like such a wreck that keeps making the same mistakes again and again.  Of course, I want Roscoe to be happy and I love when he is in a good mood and loving all over us.  But even when he is tantruming and yelling and disobeying and talking back, I still want to be right there with him, helping him work through it.  I don't love him any less, which continually surprises me (maybe I am not quite as selfish and self-absorbed as I thought I was?), and I am focused more on helping him through it than on myself.  On the good days...  :)

I am just loving this age right now.  I love that he can tell me how he feels and tell me what his dreams are about (fishes and dragons and dinosaurs, most recently).  I love that he spontaneously tells me that he loves me and that Daddy is his best friend. I love that he tells Luka "it's going to be alright, Lulu, I'm right here" when she is upset.  I love that when we call Luka "LuluLemon" that he says he is "RoscoeWatermelon".  I love that he tackles her periodically and, despite her protests, hugs her big and tells her "I'll love you forever, Luka, I'll love you forever!"  I love that he gets an exaggerated look of shock on his face when something surprises him.  I love that he "humors me" and tells me the same placating answers I tell him sometimes.  I even love that he looked at me the other and said, "are you KIDDING me?!" in all seriousness.  I love that when he is sleepy and cold he likes me to hold him just so (on the couch...with a blanket...not that blanket, this one...my feet aren't covered...no, hold me like this...)  I love that for the most part he can't be bothered to eat because adventuring and playing is too enticing, but then he surprises us and devours 3 bowls of oatmeal in one sitting (I think they call that binging) and wants more.  I love that he has conversations with all of his toys (just yesterday he was so proud of his lego duplo for being "so brave").  I love when he wakes up from his nap or in the morning and looks for me in the kitchen and runs into my arms.  I love that he calls quesadillas "quesa-Diwas" like his cousin and still calls his guitar his "goontar".  Every day it seems he comes up with a new saying or a new observation that makes me smile.  He is just really fun to hang out with.

I can't imagine how mothering could get better than this; I am head over heels for these two.  God has this way of surprising me, though, and exceeding my hopes and expectations.  Let's see what this next year brings!

Luka Mae

I've been sitting with a blank page for awhile now wondering how to express what I'm feeling.  What Luka means to me.  How much I love her and cherish the opportunity to be her mama.  I wish I could capture the sweetness of her spirit in words so those who don't know her could understand how special she is.  Roscoe blew into our lives like a tsunami, turning everything upside-down and bringing with him endless charm and adventure.  Luka is more of a subtle breeze.  She watches it all with rapt attention, mind whirling, imitating us all.  She puts on my shoes when she sees them on the ground.  She pretends to brush her hair and put her hair clips in.  She says "hi" and waves when people come and go.  She says "shhhh" every time the dogs bark.  She is not happy eating with her fingers and does not want to be fed.  She wants to eat with a utensil and bowl like we do and she notices and complains if she is eating something different than we are.  She hasn't met a food she didn't like.  She does the twinkle, twinkle with her hands whenever music plays and bounces and sways.  She gives sloppy kisses on her own accord and gives a shy sideways smile when her Daddy talks to her.  She adores her brother and generally copies whatever he does.  If he is hopping around in a paper bag, she is trying to get into the bag herself to join the fun.  If he is circling the island in their Flinstone car, she is hanging on the back, her little legs running to keep up as she squeals with delight.  She tries to ride Roscoe's choochoo train, his bike, his scooter, whatever she has seen him ride.  She climbs into the Flinstone car and lounges, content whether or not someone pushes her around.  She loves taking baths and will try to dive into the bathtub whether or not there is water in it.  Sometimes she yells just to sit in her stroller in the living room.  She does this thing when she is really happy where she crinkles her nose and makes little snorty sounds.  Some babies have a boisterous clap, but not Luka.  She has the gentlest, daintiest clap ever clapped.  She has the sweetest tiny birthmark on her wrist that I love, love, love and love to kiss.  I never imagined I would have a daughter and now that I've met her I cannot imagine not having her in my life.  She has brought layers of depth and love and fun into our home and though the days are passing too quickly for me, I am still excited to see what the next year brings and how much better I will know her by her second birthday.

one month 

two months

three months

four months

five months

six months

seven months

eight months

nine months

ten months

eleven months

twelve months 

*one year*

Gratitude

This time of year, as the days and weeks slip by, as The Day of Gratitude escapes with nary a blog post nor a tweet... I can't help but be grateful.  Grateful that my life is so full that I can't even carve out time to vocalize it!  I think, as a parent especially, that life sometimes touches on a sweet spot.  Despite the chaos and business of the day-to-day, there is a knowledge that we are Living the Dream, right here and now.  Watching my son learn to spell his name and learn to take deep breaths when he is frustrated and overwhelmed... Watching my daughter trying again and again to work out this walking thing and seeing her insatiable curiosity as she explores... Watching my husband embrace being a daddy and still impressing his colleagues at work... Watching my friends and family journey through life and loving them all more each year...  I have everything I've ever wanted.  The only nagging complaint I have these days is that I just don't have enough time to savor the days and the blessings.  That's a pretty lame complaint, if I do say so myself.  For this moment, I am ignoring the tasks and worries that crowd my mind so often and I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this Happy-Mess.