I have a bit of a heavy heart today. It is my last week of recovery and adjustment that we call Maternity Leave. My little boo just turned 7 weeks old today and I will be returning to the workforce next week. Boo hoo. It is not so much that I don't want to work at all. I have a lot of pride in the business I have built and I think I would miss it if I had to give it up completely. I also really miss some of my coworkers (some of you may be reading this now and it's true - I miss you!!). Plus, by choosing to live in the Bay we have basically guaranteed the need for dual income. But the thought of leaving Roscoe all day with someone else (even if that someone is his Lala Friend Grandma) makes me kind of sad. (And a bit relieved, let's be honest, he is certainly a handful.)
The plan is for me to work 3-4 days a week and take him with me all but one day (Lala's day - thank you, thank you, thank you, Lala!) for a couple of months. I am grateful to be able to take him, but honestly have no idea how this will work. Some days I have a hard time eating and peeing let alone changing my clothes or leaving the house. That is just asking too much. So, how am I supposed to get ready in the morning, get to work and then work productively all day, get us home from work and then feed us something and try for a few hours of sleep? I am hoping for many miracles in the coming weeks that allow this far fetched plan to succeed.
I think I am also in mourning because I thought that this would be a sweet bonding time for Roscoe and I and that I would be able to take him for long walks in his stroller and go meet Ray for lunch and all of these wonderful Hallmark movie moments. In reality, I am only beginning to feel healed from the labor and am now in pain from the Raynaud's and he has spent the majority of his 7 weeks screaming at me. I knew I would be sleep deprived, but I didn't really expect all of this. So, now just as things are getting a little better I have to go back to all of the old commitments. *sigh*
Not all is Bitter, though, and here is some of the Sweet... I did mention things getting better!
The Sweet
"Morning has broken, like the first morning..." I keep thinking those Cat Stevens lyrics lately, it is like our little Rascal has turned a corner and we are seeing more of his true personality instead of just the fussin'. Most evident in the fact that he can actually be soothed. If he cries, we can soothe him (Hallelujah!). What a relief!! No more hours of soothing and still crying... sometimes he makes us work pretty hard for it but at least there is an end. And when he is awake and alert, he is a pretty happy boy. He even LOVES having his diaper changed. What a strange kid. I hope he doesn't have a thing for being naked and grow up to be a streaker or something. He also enjoys staring at the black and white pictures frames on our walls, listening to music (especially when his Daddy sings along) and long walks on the beach (kidding).
Ok, one more thing. It takes me a couple of days to write anything and in the meantime (specifically this morning) Roscoe actually put himself to sleep in his swing! He was winding down and I put him in his swing and he looked around for awhile and then FELL ASLEEP. OMG. I think the miracles have begun...
Here are a few pics (and a VIDEO!) from the last week...
p.s. Ray's dad's surgery went well and he is feeling pretty good. Thank God.
No comments:
Post a Comment