Mama Trauma

Be still my beating-out-of-my-chest heart...

Background:  I switched around my schedule a bit so I have Tuesday mornings home with the kids.

Scene: Kitchen Table.  We were having a great time playing and eating breakfast (no tantrums yet, no stern voices, all fun).  Roscoe jumps up from breakfast and runs to the bathroom announcing he has to go potty (his clothes are already off because earlier he claimed he had an owie on his butt-butt and needed a band-aid...yes, I really will do anything for my kids.)

Now The Fun Begins: He gets to the bathroom and slams the door (unusual).  I grab Luka and check it out.  He not only slammed the door; he locked it, too.  I have picked the lock to his bedroom door many times and I wasn't particularly concerned about the bathroom because a) he never shuts the door and b) it is one of those push locks that are pretty easy to pick (except for this one).

I have actually had this scenario play out in my head many times, but it was always him in his bedroom and me trying to figure out how to break into his bedroom window.  First I tried to coach him through turning the knob to open the door.  He knows how to open doors, so I thought he could do it but "it was really stuck" according to Roscoe.  I go outside and check if the window is open.  No.  Shoot.

Then I tried a bobby pin.  No luck.  I try again to have him try and turn the knob "harder!"  "you can do it!"  Roscoe started whimpering a bit and telling me he was scared and come get him.  I teetered on panic and called Ray at work to ask how to pick the lock.  I tried a hanger.  And a paper clip.  No luck.  The thing is this original-to-the-house door had clearly had its lock picked a time or twenty and I just could not get the darn thing to pop.  I Google lock picking and watch a YouTube video, but nothing new there.  Crap.  Roscoe still scared.  Mama starting to really wonder what can be done.  All the while keeping a running conversation with Roscoe through the door and reassuring him that there is nothing to be scared of and I am coming to get him.  Roscoe keeps telling me, in a brave voice, that he is scared.  And panicking if I don't keep talking to him "where are you, Mama?!"

Mama Bear kicks in.  I will get in there.  NOW.  I strap Luka into her bouncy seat which she hates and never uses, but with the crawling now she gets into everything and I figured she can cry and be mad for a few minutes.  I go outside, clear the path to the window (praying I don't see any spiders), get out the ladder and a screwdriver and get the window open.  Hooray!  Roscoe is so happy to see me and I am so relieved to see his little naked body.  But, wait.  The window is high.  Above the tub.  I spent a good amount of time trying to contort my body through the window and figure out where I could go from there without hurting myself.  I am still coaching Roscoe to open the door - not this way, both hands, harder, you can do it.  And he does!!!  The door opens!!  OMG sweet relief.

For a split second... until I hear Luka scream.  I run down the ladder and into the house to see the bouncy seat upside down.  She had managed to flip it over with her in it.  Ugh.  I check for injuries and comfort her.  And Roscoe.  Life happens for a few minutes and then it is time to put Luka to sleep.  She will not sit still, though, and refuses to nurse.  She ALWAYS wants to nurse. I think maybe she is not tired and just needs to crawl around a bit more, so we play for 10 minutes and then I try again.  She still won't nurse and she coughs a little, which is odd.  On a whim, I put my pinkie in her mouth just to make sure she didn't have a bit of breakfast banana still in there and pull out A CHUNK OF... SOMETHING.  I have no idea what it is, but it is the size of a dime and very soggy.  OMG.  I almost put her down for a nap with that in her mouth.  She has had it in her mouth for who knows how long (I am assuming she got it during the pick-lock debacle).  I am so relieved, but shaken.

And then I realize.  It is 9:30am.  I have been up for hours.  I have not eaten any breakfast or had a sip of water.  Or coffee.  I am exhausted.  Apparently so was Luka because she went down for her nap pretty quickly.  I've said it before and I will say it again: this parenting thing is NO JOKE.