But before we get to the tour, we have to get to the dump. And before I can leave for the dump I have to wake up early-early (not a problem since I have a relentless Little Alarm Clock...and I use "wake up" quite loosely as my Alarm Clock woke me up EVERY HOUR the night before), get myself ready, get Roscoe ready, pump and then meet with our new nanny on her first day and give her the low-down, say good-bye to Roscoe as he cries desperately with the new stranger since he is now in full separation-anxiety mode and then walk the 1.25 miles to work. Two blocks from home I feel something warm and wet and to my HORROR I see a massive liquid dump that a sneaky bird took on my arm. Alas. Must I be shit on every day of my life by either a dog, a baby or a bird? I scraped the chunks off with a leaf and tried to hold my head high with my shitty arm the rest of the way. I have never been so happy to see that bathroom sink.
I think I can classify the tour as a life changing experience for me because I have thought about it now every single time I throw something away (and I thought I was already pretty conscientious). I always wanted to care more and be more careful, but there is no ignoring the reality of what a mess we are all making when you see it live. You know those dump trucks? Do you know how many of those go to a landfill EVERY single day?? Just from SF proper? Between 300 and 400. And there are only 800,000 people in SF. And we have some of the highest recycling and composting rates in the nation. Can you even imagine how many dump trucks worth the US contributes to the landfill every single day? I used to tell myself that since food scraps are biodegradable that they would just "disappear" once in the landfill. Ah, sweet ignorance. Not only do the food scraps not disappear because they do not have the air necessary to decompose, they also begin to release methane, then causing global warming. I would like to think that all of this is somehow unrelated to me and that my little actions don't affect the future of our Earth (Roscoe's future) that much. But that is just not true. And I feel the burden of responsibility after seeing how my choices are literally destroying God's creation. Birds and fish with their stomachs 40% full of plastics because there are swirls of plastic in our oceans 2 MILES DEEP. What I find especially disturbing is that all of these plastic products are fairly new. It is stomach-turning to realize the damage we have done in the last 50-60 years. And we can't "take it back." The damage is done. Even when you recycle a milk jug, it can only be recycled maybe one time and then it is just waste. But we can change what we do from here on out. I am not usually much of a preacher, even when I believe strongly in something, but honestly it makes me sick to my stomach when people don't recycle cans and bottles and things that are so ridiculously easy to do. It makes me as angry as I get when the lady around the corner screams at her kids. Which is very angry. If you happen to be one of those people (don't tell me, I don't want to know), I would challenge you to educate yourself about where things actually go when you throw them away. If you then make an educated decision to not recycle and continue to be wasteful, then that is your business. But I know for sure that I can't live in denial any more and need to make an effort to lessen my own personal impact. Rant over. Deep breaths and shoulder rolls.
What made the tour bearable for me and my heavy heart is that, first of all, I am lucky to live in SF where recycling and composting is relatively easy to do. Secondly, someone had the brilliant idea of starting an artist-in-residence program at the dump to utilize some of the wasted resources. The artists scavenge the public disposal area (where you/construction companies drop off their waste, not the garbage from the dump trucks...) and use the materials they find to create artwork and then have an exhibition at the end of 4 months. The artist we talked to found shopping carts full of paints, glue, papers, tools and many treasures. Also, SF has St. Vincent de Paul come and collect items for their charity. That made me feel slightly better.
So, this was Roscoe's first week with his new nanny, Francinne. He seems to feel comfortable with her and I think our decision to have her come to our house was the right one. He actually took a 1 hour 40 minute nap with her on Friday morning which he has never done, ever, with anyone besides Ray or I (and rarely with us!) The sleeping issue was the main reason I stopped taking him to work in the first place and the reason we wanted him to be able to stay home where he is comfortable, so we are very happy that it seems to be working out well.
I went for a follow up appointment yesterday to have more biopsies taken of my cervix. I have been dreading this appointment for a long time because a) it is painful and b) there is a chance that it has progressed beyond "stage 0" and would require chemo/radiation/hysterectomy to treat. I don't even let my mind go there. The good (amazing, actually) news is that the doctor is optimistic based on the colposcopy and only had to biopsy 1 area (as opposed to the 3 areas she biopsied right before I got pregnant). Which means that the other 2 areas have improved on their own (likely sloughed off during Roscoe's birth). Hooray! If you are the praying kind, pray that the prognosis is no longer "severe" when I get the lab results in a week or two. Severe means another invasive (and painful) procedure that will mess with my ability to carry another baby anytime soon. And I wasn't planning to wait five years to have another! I did get a good chuckle at the doctor's face when I told her I had Roscoe at a birth center. You would think I told her I had him under the bridge next to the 101. Silly woman.
I haven't taken many photos lately, but here is one where Roscoe appears to be doing a push-up with his bear on his back. Resistance training already! He is his father's boy, no doubt.
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