Roscoe Anthony

What words are there for Roscoe??  He has been packed with personality since day one.  Big personality.  Big humor. Big kisses and cuddles and high-fives.  Big demands.  Big emotions.  Big smiles.  Big messes.  Big adventures.  His presence is so larger than life that when I see a picture of him, I feel like he is actually there. He just can't be contained in 2D.

He is teaching me so many things.

Roscoe made me a mama and he continues to blaze the trail with eternal enthusiasm and passion and humor.  Being a parent is full of surprises and new insights into ourselves.  I have loved people in my life, but I have never loved like this. A mother's love really is indescribable.  I think I (finally) understand a smidge of what God must feel for us as His children.  I finally get how He can love me when I feel like such a wreck that keeps making the same mistakes again and again.  Of course, I want Roscoe to be happy and I love when he is in a good mood and loving all over us.  But even when he is tantruming and yelling and disobeying and talking back, I still want to be right there with him, helping him work through it.  I don't love him any less, which continually surprises me (maybe I am not quite as selfish and self-absorbed as I thought I was?), and I am focused more on helping him through it than on myself.  On the good days...  :)

I am just loving this age right now.  I love that he can tell me how he feels and tell me what his dreams are about (fishes and dragons and dinosaurs, most recently).  I love that he spontaneously tells me that he loves me and that Daddy is his best friend. I love that he tells Luka "it's going to be alright, Lulu, I'm right here" when she is upset.  I love that when we call Luka "LuluLemon" that he says he is "RoscoeWatermelon".  I love that he tackles her periodically and, despite her protests, hugs her big and tells her "I'll love you forever, Luka, I'll love you forever!"  I love that he gets an exaggerated look of shock on his face when something surprises him.  I love that he "humors me" and tells me the same placating answers I tell him sometimes.  I even love that he looked at me the other and said, "are you KIDDING me?!" in all seriousness.  I love that when he is sleepy and cold he likes me to hold him just so (on the couch...with a blanket...not that blanket, this one...my feet aren't covered...no, hold me like this...)  I love that for the most part he can't be bothered to eat because adventuring and playing is too enticing, but then he surprises us and devours 3 bowls of oatmeal in one sitting (I think they call that binging) and wants more.  I love that he has conversations with all of his toys (just yesterday he was so proud of his lego duplo for being "so brave").  I love when he wakes up from his nap or in the morning and looks for me in the kitchen and runs into my arms.  I love that he calls quesadillas "quesa-Diwas" like his cousin and still calls his guitar his "goontar".  Every day it seems he comes up with a new saying or a new observation that makes me smile.  He is just really fun to hang out with.

I can't imagine how mothering could get better than this; I am head over heels for these two.  God has this way of surprising me, though, and exceeding my hopes and expectations.  Let's see what this next year brings!

Luka Mae

I've been sitting with a blank page for awhile now wondering how to express what I'm feeling.  What Luka means to me.  How much I love her and cherish the opportunity to be her mama.  I wish I could capture the sweetness of her spirit in words so those who don't know her could understand how special she is.  Roscoe blew into our lives like a tsunami, turning everything upside-down and bringing with him endless charm and adventure.  Luka is more of a subtle breeze.  She watches it all with rapt attention, mind whirling, imitating us all.  She puts on my shoes when she sees them on the ground.  She pretends to brush her hair and put her hair clips in.  She says "hi" and waves when people come and go.  She says "shhhh" every time the dogs bark.  She is not happy eating with her fingers and does not want to be fed.  She wants to eat with a utensil and bowl like we do and she notices and complains if she is eating something different than we are.  She hasn't met a food she didn't like.  She does the twinkle, twinkle with her hands whenever music plays and bounces and sways.  She gives sloppy kisses on her own accord and gives a shy sideways smile when her Daddy talks to her.  She adores her brother and generally copies whatever he does.  If he is hopping around in a paper bag, she is trying to get into the bag herself to join the fun.  If he is circling the island in their Flinstone car, she is hanging on the back, her little legs running to keep up as she squeals with delight.  She tries to ride Roscoe's choochoo train, his bike, his scooter, whatever she has seen him ride.  She climbs into the Flinstone car and lounges, content whether or not someone pushes her around.  She loves taking baths and will try to dive into the bathtub whether or not there is water in it.  Sometimes she yells just to sit in her stroller in the living room.  She does this thing when she is really happy where she crinkles her nose and makes little snorty sounds.  Some babies have a boisterous clap, but not Luka.  She has the gentlest, daintiest clap ever clapped.  She has the sweetest tiny birthmark on her wrist that I love, love, love and love to kiss.  I never imagined I would have a daughter and now that I've met her I cannot imagine not having her in my life.  She has brought layers of depth and love and fun into our home and though the days are passing too quickly for me, I am still excited to see what the next year brings and how much better I will know her by her second birthday.

one month 

two months

three months

four months

five months

six months

seven months

eight months

nine months

ten months

eleven months

twelve months 

*one year*

Gratitude

This time of year, as the days and weeks slip by, as The Day of Gratitude escapes with nary a blog post nor a tweet... I can't help but be grateful.  Grateful that my life is so full that I can't even carve out time to vocalize it!  I think, as a parent especially, that life sometimes touches on a sweet spot.  Despite the chaos and business of the day-to-day, there is a knowledge that we are Living the Dream, right here and now.  Watching my son learn to spell his name and learn to take deep breaths when he is frustrated and overwhelmed... Watching my daughter trying again and again to work out this walking thing and seeing her insatiable curiosity as she explores... Watching my husband embrace being a daddy and still impressing his colleagues at work... Watching my friends and family journey through life and loving them all more each year...  I have everything I've ever wanted.  The only nagging complaint I have these days is that I just don't have enough time to savor the days and the blessings.  That's a pretty lame complaint, if I do say so myself.  For this moment, I am ignoring the tasks and worries that crowd my mind so often and I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this Happy-Mess.